ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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