So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
