I love black thongs
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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