All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
