He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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