my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
