I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
