U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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