My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
