Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
