apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
