Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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