I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
