So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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