talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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