I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
