i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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