My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
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