she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
