you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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