He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
