would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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