How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
