Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
