I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i think i have herpe
just one?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize