I am in a vortex of obligation.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize