After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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