My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
