I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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