Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
