Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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