Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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