we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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