Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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