Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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