"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
