Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
