Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
