He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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