Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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