turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
