Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
