Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just found puke in my bra..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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