I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
