I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
