yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
