I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
