So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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