Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
