i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
how does that bad decision feel?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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