Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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