I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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