cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize