I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
