It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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