Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
