I forgot how hot balto sounded
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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