sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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