How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
