Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize