Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
