walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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