I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize