Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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