walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
