i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
