I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
