You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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